Thursday Randomness II: Things I can't explain

Some of these things are things that I can't explain and they make me angry. Some things are things that I'm passively curious about. For the angry ones, imagine me as an angry, whithered old man on my front porch with my fisherman's hat on and my pants (with both belt and suspenders) firmly fixed to the bottom of my sternum. For the non-angry, imagine the word, "Meh," and a shrug finishing every point.

1) The word "read" and "read" are two completely different words, spelled the same. For example, the sentence "I read that paper ________." Insert, "every day." And then insert, "last week." Not only does it change the time reference of the sentence, but you pronounce the same word completely differently! What's up with that?! "I red . . . " versus "I reed." Obviously the difference is the amount of phonetic letter e's that we can fit into our words. I want at least two in my name.

2) My iPod shuffles through more than 5,000 songs, and yet I listen to the song "Old Man River" from the musical Show Boat at least once a day, and sometimes twice daily, while I have probably hundreds of songs that haven't seen the light of my ear drums for quite a while. What's up with that?

3) (Here's an angry one!) How did the movie Wild Hogs make any money? I was subjected to this movie on an airplane (the visual only, since I didn't want to shell out $5 for headphones to listen to the audio when I can just as easy spend that money on an ice pick to shove into my brain). It has come to my attention that the movie made about $238 million (I wish to an absurd degree that I was kidding). And since we're thinking about Tim Allen, why are they re-releasing his movie The Santa Clause again and calling it Fred Claus only with a different cast and not funny jokes?

I feel this topic, things I can't explain, needs further, deeper analysis, maybe even a recurring spot . . . perhaps it's own after-school special.