Extra Wendesday Bonus!! Just before coming to use a campus computer (I need to get to class in just a couple minutes), I heard the following, undoctored conversation:
Girl (enters scene comes and sits next to guy across from me at my table) Oh hi!
Guy: Yeah, hi.
Girl (looks down at technical diagram of electrical layout of a house) Oh wow. You'd need a boys brain to figure this out! . . . .
(there are about two more brief sentences back and forth between them)
Girl: Oh wow! Have you been working out? Because your arm (touches arm) right there, it's so big!
At this moment, I get up and leave in the middle of a fierce coughing spasm that is covering up my laughing.
Showing posts with label overheard lines. Show all posts
Showing posts with label overheard lines. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Frequent(ly Dumb) Fliers and Bonus !! (Another Overheard Line)
Over the course of 24 hours I have seen two stupid fliers hanging up around campus. (There are certainly more out there. Jack Bauer can kill dozens of allegedly guilty people over the course of 24 hours, you'd think I could track down a few more stupid fliers . . .)(Note: find out if Jack Bauer jokes are still funny i.e. worth doing)
1st Flier: "Tired of walking to class?! JOIN THE BYU RUNNING CLUB!!"
. . . I certainly can't think of a better way to stop being exhausted by putting one foot in front of the other as I trudge daily to, all the heck over, and then away from campus than to put my feet in front of the other thousands of more times than I currently am.
Is the argument, "Tired of walking to class? Then RUN to class silly!!"? Is it that I can avoid walking by running? Because if it is, then in my mind an equally logical flier could read "Tired of being stabbed?! Then start THROWING YOURSELVES ONTO KNIVES!!!" Because certainly the result would be different . . . somehow. . . .
(Also, I don't want anyone to defend this flier by saying that "you'll be in better shape," or "you'll be healthier" or "maybe you wouldn't mind walking to class so much if you hadn't eaten at least eleven fun sized Baby Ruth bars last night." The flier is dumb. End of discussion.)(And I DID eat eleven fun sized Baby Ruth bars last night. That is true.)
Second Flier: "Is Isaiah easier to understand in Hebrew? Do you want to find out? Take Old Testament 545."
My first thought was to pencil in "No" after the first question and "Not really" after the second question as these were my honest and literal answers to those questions.
My second thought was, what if you sign up for the class and the huge, thick textbook is blank except for writing on the first page that says, "Leading experts characterize the writings of Isaiah as 'confusing' and 'not easy to understand.' They go on to state, 'Even in Hebrew.'" And then hundreds of blank pages. Of course, this textbook would cost approximately two-thousand dollars, and the bookstore will refuse to buy it back at the end of the semester.
Special Wednesday Bonus!! An Overheard Line:
As I was walking to the computer lab to write all this down I heard the actual following conversation behind me:
Girl: "Yeah, Utah drivers are horrible!"
Guy: "I know!"
Girl: "And the people who walk are the ones who are too stupid to drive!"
Guy: "Yeah!!"
Girl: "Like today, a guy walked out in front of my bus. . . Oh, yeah, I take the bus, 'cause I don't like to drive."
Guy: "Oh, yeah. I usually walk 'cause I don't driving either."
1st Flier: "Tired of walking to class?! JOIN THE BYU RUNNING CLUB!!"
. . . I certainly can't think of a better way to stop being exhausted by putting one foot in front of the other as I trudge daily to, all the heck over, and then away from campus than to put my feet in front of the other thousands of more times than I currently am.
Is the argument, "Tired of walking to class? Then RUN to class silly!!"? Is it that I can avoid walking by running? Because if it is, then in my mind an equally logical flier could read "Tired of being stabbed?! Then start THROWING YOURSELVES ONTO KNIVES!!!" Because certainly the result would be different . . . somehow. . . .
(Also, I don't want anyone to defend this flier by saying that "you'll be in better shape," or "you'll be healthier" or "maybe you wouldn't mind walking to class so much if you hadn't eaten at least eleven fun sized Baby Ruth bars last night." The flier is dumb. End of discussion.)(And I DID eat eleven fun sized Baby Ruth bars last night. That is true.)
Second Flier: "Is Isaiah easier to understand in Hebrew? Do you want to find out? Take Old Testament 545."
My first thought was to pencil in "No" after the first question and "Not really" after the second question as these were my honest and literal answers to those questions.
My second thought was, what if you sign up for the class and the huge, thick textbook is blank except for writing on the first page that says, "Leading experts characterize the writings of Isaiah as 'confusing' and 'not easy to understand.' They go on to state, 'Even in Hebrew.'" And then hundreds of blank pages. Of course, this textbook would cost approximately two-thousand dollars, and the bookstore will refuse to buy it back at the end of the semester.
Special Wednesday Bonus!! An Overheard Line:
As I was walking to the computer lab to write all this down I heard the actual following conversation behind me:
Girl: "Yeah, Utah drivers are horrible!"
Guy: "I know!"
Girl: "And the people who walk are the ones who are too stupid to drive!"
Guy: "Yeah!!"
Girl: "Like today, a guy walked out in front of my bus. . . Oh, yeah, I take the bus, 'cause I don't like to drive."
Guy: "Oh, yeah. I usually walk 'cause I don't driving either."
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Overheard Lines - Specialty Shoe Store Owner to a Friend
A friend of mine, after receiving a flier that a specialty shoe store was have a "huge, blow-out sale" she went to check out the deals, which turns out were neither huge, nor blown-out. The only shoes on sale were the too-big or too-small for any normal sized human. She had the true following dialouge with the owner.
Kim: "So which shoes are on sale exactly?"
Owner: "Well, all of the shoes here are FOR sale . . ."
Classic.
Coincidentally, I recently became aware of this website, which is a treasure-trove of dumb overheard lines like this (Note: PG-13 language on some of the overheard lines)
Here's my favorite one:
Tactful Waiter (In Singapore) Dissuading Woman From Breast-Feeding In Public
"I'm sorry ma'am, there's no outside food allowed."
Classic
Kim: "So which shoes are on sale exactly?"
Owner: "Well, all of the shoes here are FOR sale . . ."
Classic.
Coincidentally, I recently became aware of this website, which is a treasure-trove of dumb overheard lines like this (Note: PG-13 language on some of the overheard lines)
Here's my favorite one:
Tactful Waiter (In Singapore) Dissuading Woman From Breast-Feeding In Public
"I'm sorry ma'am, there's no outside food allowed."
Classic
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