Why is it that fortune cookies no longer have fortunes in them? Fortunes used to be "someone is interested in you, keep your eyes open" or "luck is around the corner and happiness is down the street" or in the least a statement that gets you thinking in suspense of your day ahead. Now, the strips of paper have been stripped down to morals or statements. These are sometimes unpleasant to open because they either have no point, or are too thought provoking for no reason: "To live in fear of losing, is to not live life." Who cares? Thoughts like this are bound to add an element of indigestion to your Asian cuisine.
My most recent fortune has been "There is no such thing as an ordinary cat." Thank you. I'm just not sure how to take that, or what to really think about it. Unless I was born in the year of the cat, it has no relevant meaning to my life. If I was born in the year of the cat, now I know that I am not ordinary. If I am called a cat in the future, I know I am not ordinary. Or if I am ordinary, at least I know I am not a cat. This is not a fortune, or a moral. What have fortune cookies come to? Please let me know where the fortunes have gone, and somebody please return them to their cookies.
Their readers are missing them.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Your Daily Inspirational Calendar
Recently discovered in an old, navy trunk in the attice, buried (ironically) under some Old Navy sweaters was a daily calendar containing inspirational quotes from a slew of famous and not so famous people. Presented for your edification and machination:
August 20
"Often I'm asked if we could be doing more to help the poor in this bluntry. At least, that's what they seem to be saying, as I try to read their lips through the window on my 1.9 million dollar corporate limosine. I don't know what a 'bluntry' is. So my answer is, 'I don't know. I just don't know.'" - E. Neville Isdell, president Coca-Cola
August 24
"Hardly a day goes by that I don't say to myself, 'Yes, I was born in a log cabin. Can't we just get past that? I'd like to think I've done one or two good things since then!' And then I go on quietly about my business." - Abraham Lincoln
August 25
"Noah Webster didn't know the meaning of the word defeat. Which is even further evidence that Cambridge University publishes a much more reliable dictionary." - Professor James Edington, Dean of the English department, Cambridge University
August 26
"Everything I am and hope to be I attribute to the values, upbringing and millions of dollars that I received from my parents." - Eric Ericson, son Delta Airlines founder Donny Ericson
August 20
"Often I'm asked if we could be doing more to help the poor in this bluntry. At least, that's what they seem to be saying, as I try to read their lips through the window on my 1.9 million dollar corporate limosine. I don't know what a 'bluntry' is. So my answer is, 'I don't know. I just don't know.'" - E. Neville Isdell, president Coca-Cola
August 24
"Hardly a day goes by that I don't say to myself, 'Yes, I was born in a log cabin. Can't we just get past that? I'd like to think I've done one or two good things since then!' And then I go on quietly about my business." - Abraham Lincoln
August 25
"Noah Webster didn't know the meaning of the word defeat. Which is even further evidence that Cambridge University publishes a much more reliable dictionary." - Professor James Edington, Dean of the English department, Cambridge University
August 26
"Everything I am and hope to be I attribute to the values, upbringing and millions of dollars that I received from my parents." - Eric Ericson, son Delta Airlines founder Donny Ericson
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
