Over the course of 24 hours I have seen two stupid fliers hanging up around campus. (There are certainly more out there. Jack Bauer can kill dozens of allegedly guilty people over the course of 24 hours, you'd think I could track down a few more stupid fliers . . .)(Note: find out if Jack Bauer jokes are still funny i.e. worth doing)
1st Flier: "Tired of walking to class?! JOIN THE BYU RUNNING CLUB!!"
. . . I certainly can't think of a better way to stop being exhausted by putting one foot in front of the other as I trudge daily to, all the heck over, and then away from campus than to put my feet in front of the other thousands of more times than I currently am.
Is the argument, "Tired of walking to class? Then RUN to class silly!!"? Is it that I can avoid walking by running? Because if it is, then in my mind an equally logical flier could read "Tired of being stabbed?! Then start THROWING YOURSELVES ONTO KNIVES!!!" Because certainly the result would be different . . . somehow. . . .
(Also, I don't want anyone to defend this flier by saying that "you'll be in better shape," or "you'll be healthier" or "maybe you wouldn't mind walking to class so much if you hadn't eaten at least eleven fun sized Baby Ruth bars last night." The flier is dumb. End of discussion.)(And I DID eat eleven fun sized Baby Ruth bars last night. That is true.)
Second Flier: "Is Isaiah easier to understand in Hebrew? Do you want to find out? Take Old Testament 545."
My first thought was to pencil in "No" after the first question and "Not really" after the second question as these were my honest and literal answers to those questions.
My second thought was, what if you sign up for the class and the huge, thick textbook is blank except for writing on the first page that says, "Leading experts characterize the writings of Isaiah as 'confusing' and 'not easy to understand.' They go on to state, 'Even in Hebrew.'" And then hundreds of blank pages. Of course, this textbook would cost approximately two-thousand dollars, and the bookstore will refuse to buy it back at the end of the semester.
Special Wednesday Bonus!! An Overheard Line:
As I was walking to the computer lab to write all this down I heard the actual following conversation behind me:
Girl: "Yeah, Utah drivers are horrible!"
Guy: "I know!"
Girl: "And the people who walk are the ones who are too stupid to drive!"
Guy: "Yeah!!"
Girl: "Like today, a guy walked out in front of my bus. . . Oh, yeah, I take the bus, 'cause I don't like to drive."
Guy: "Oh, yeah. I usually walk 'cause I don't driving either."
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3 comments:
I saw a flier today, so i thought i'd share it. yes, there are fliers outside of the college sphere, although this was more of a sign and it was posted on the side of the road. still, it was more flier than sign. anyway, it said:
Make a CEO salary working part time.
Don't believe it. Don't call.
800-555-5555
I don't believe it, so i won't call, but thanks for the info anyway.
I love the last one. I miss riding the bus. You get to eavesdrop on so many funny conversations as you pretend to read the newspaper. If you are ever low on material, I highly recommend sitting at the bus-stop for a while - because stupid people drive and/or walk.
I saw a flier in the Library, in the juvenile section. "Having trouble with children's literature? Come to the Juvenile Literature office!"
... I think it should go "Having trouble with children's literature? Leave college!"
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