The Tenth and a Half Post of Christmas: A Clarification and Apology

I see that once again I need to vow to only use my powers for good, instead of evil. In a moment of weakness, I seem to have forgotten that vow (which has been my New Year's Resolution every year for as long . . . a long time).


In a previous post (there have been a bunch lately, haven't there?), I mentioned that a friend of mine had 1) teased me for not liking the song "Christmas Shoes," and 2) attributed my being single to that fact. She was kidding and I knew she was kidding and it was totally cool that she was kidding because my best friends know that they can make fun of me whenever they want. (You did know that you could tease me all you want right? Wrong. I was lying. Don't do make fun of me. It demeans us both. But mostly me. Which is worse).

Well, since I really didn't have anything else to write about that day, I decided to pretend to be offended and post some goofy pictures. I recently went back and reread it, and I really didn't do such a good job of pretending to be offended. Without being able to make sad, simpering, self-depreciating facial expressions and whimpering sounds, I really came off like I was mad and upset and hurt (I believe this means that I was a lot like most of disaffected, single college students who write blogs. Stay tuned for my dark, soul-crushing emo poems!). Again, let me repeat that I was not at all offended by this person pointing out that I'm probably single because I can't bring myself to like "Christmas Shoes" and other painfully cheesy songs. There are books that can be filled with reasons why I'm single! Why limit the reasons?! So I'm sorry if I made anyone feel bad! I'll be more careful and try to keep the sarcasm and verbal irony reigned in. . . . Unless it's funny. You see, I'm using sarcasm and irony to avoid the point. I'm sorry if I seemed upset or offended. I was not. I hope we can put this all behind us and move on to the funny pictures that I found:

Graphic pictorial demonstration to follow:

This is how I am perceived to respond to teasing.

This is how I feel most often. I mean, I freakin' Google pictures of cats, people!! I must be a happy person!

And for the single ladies out there, this is the sensitive, adorable side of me you would love to get to know better.